That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
