when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize