I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
