thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
