She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
