I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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