strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
