Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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