idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
