In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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