I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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