I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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