"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
