this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
