Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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