Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize