best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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