are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
