I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
