told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
