North Korea, Best Korea!
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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