Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You are a genius and a whore.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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