mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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