awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
