I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
