Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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