well you can't waste a boner
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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