We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
third nipple confirmed
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
