She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
