Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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