Whod you bang
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
