guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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