Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
