apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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