My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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