3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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