Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
