can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
