so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
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