We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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