When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
