and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
