YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
