Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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