I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
