he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
