you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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