I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
A+ Viking dick
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
