Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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