i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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