Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Randomize
