hotel room ftw
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Randomize
