O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
