I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
