i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
