Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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