he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
