its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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