How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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