we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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