so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Man, jail baloney is awful.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
