$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I AM VODKA MAN
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
