I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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