Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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