Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
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