I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
