Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
