Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Your cock deserves a montage
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
